Strawberry Jam
by moonlitsuicidex
Summary: THIS IS A CONTINUATION TO "The PB to My J" AND I DON'T WANNA SPOIL THE OTHER STORY READ THAT ONE AND THEN READ THIS ONE THANK YOU!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I was sleeping, or well trying to, when I got hit with a flashback like nightmare. It was of the day I found Gamzee holding Tavros' dead body about a year ago.

~====3====~

I was sitting on the computer in my sleep clothes talking to Sollux when I heard the worst sound I've ever heard in my entire life. I heard Gamzee's piercing wail come from next door.

I quickly through on some decent clothing and ran across the driveway and to Tavros' house.

The front door was swung wide open and I ran in and looked down the hallway to see my best friend holding his boyfriend's bleeding body and wailing.

Most of what he was screaming was unintelligible. I dropped in front of him, "GAMZEE? GAMZEE WHAT'S GOING ON WHAT HAPPENED?"

He didn't respond, he just kept wailing.

Most of the memory was a blur. It didn't take me very long to realize that Tavros had shot himself in the head. The blood splatter everywhere and the hole in the frail guys head told me that. I walked out of the room and out the door and called 911.

"YEAH I'M CALLING TO REPORT MY FRIEND'S SUICIDE. MY BEST FRIEND AND HIS BOYFRIEND FOUND HIM JUST NOW. I'M TAVROS' NEIGHBOR AND WHEN I HEARD GAMZEE SCREAM I RAN STRAIGHT OVER."

The EMT's and the police were there shortly. I met with them outside. I explained to the police that the screaming was my best friend.

"What's his name?" The officer asked.

"GAMZEE MAKARA."

"And you said that he found the body?"

"YES, I HEARD HIM SCREAMING HIS NAME AND I RAN STRAIGHT OVER. I THINK THEY'RE GONNA NEED SOME HELP GETTING TAVROS FROM GAMZEE. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK." I ran back into the house and ran in front of the EMTs.

"GAMZEE, YOU NEED TO LET HIM GO." I said, getting a little irritated at the fact he couldn't hear me.

The EMT spoke gently to him, "He's gone, we need to take him."

Gamzee screamed again, "No! No! He cAn't bE GoNe, He cAn't! TaVrOs... My tAvRoS..."

I looked at him sadly and said, "YOU GOTTA LET HIM GO GAMZEE. WE WERE TOO LATE."

He tipped his head back and wailed.

The EMT looked at me and told me to go behind him and pull back while he pulls Tavros from him. So I did. Gamzee screamed and tried to pull himself out of my grasp to get to his fallen love.

They took Tavros away and I held onto Gamzee for awhile longer to restrain him from going after them, and for the selfish reason of I just saw one of my close friends dead in my best friend's arms and I wanted to hold onto him to try and make him feel at least a little better.

Stupid, he doesn't want to be near you right now. Let go. I thought angrily to myself. I let him go and he slumped forward into a sobbing mess.

I had to go get his family, they'd be able to take care of him…

Since, well, I couldn't.

~====3====~

I woke with a start. Damnit, I can't believe I'm still dreaming about that after all this time. Gamzee has been doing a lot better. We've been hanging out a lot over the last year. It was the anniversary of Tavros' death on Friday, and it was Thursday morning technically seeing as it was 4AM.

I rolled onto my side and stared out into the darkness of my room. It was murder on me to see him so upset.

I rolled onto my other side. I needed to stop thinking about him like this.

I saw my phone light up on the table next to my bed. It was like staring into the sun, but I grabbed my phone and looked at who had messaged me. It was Gamzee.

"HeY KaRbRo... SoRrY FoR TeXtInG YoU ThIs eArLy... BuT I'M OuT Of fAyGo aNd i'm jUsT So mEsSeD Up…"

I groaned. He told me a long time ago that he was spiking his Faygo when I caved and said I'd try it and I could smell the alcohol. He had been mixing them stronger, he had said, ever since Tavros had died. That was the only reason why I could smell it.

I texted him back, "WHAT'S WRONG AND WHY CAN'T YOU JUST MIX SOME MORE FAYGO?"

He replied quickly, "ThAnK ThE MeSsIaHs yOu'rE AwAkE, aNd bEcAuSe mY PaReNtS DoN'T PiCk uP AnY MoRe fAyGo tIlL ToNiGhT So i cAn't mIx aNy! I'M MoThErFuCkInG FrEaKiNg oUt aLl tHeSe mUrDeRoUs tHoUgHtS ArE BaCk i jUsT WaNnA BeAt tHe mOtHeRfUcKiNg hElL OuT Of vRiSkA... bUt i cAn't dO ThAt tHaT WoN'T BrInG TaVrOs bAcK…"

"NO IT WON'T MAN, I FUCKING TOLD YOU THAT A YEAR AGO. BUT USUALLY YOU HAVE ENOUGH FAYGO TO LAST THE WEEK, WHY ARE YOU OUT NOW?"

His reply was almost instant, "I'Ve bEeN DrInKiNg mOtHeRfUcKiNg mOrE Of iT, tHaT'S WhY. aLl wEeK I'Ve hAd a lItTlE MoRe tHaN UsUaL. aNd i jUsT DrAnK ThE LaSt bOtTlE AnD NoW I'M FuCkEd bEcAuSe tHeSe mOtHeRfUcKiNg vOiCeS WoN'T LeT Me bE…"

I paled, "VOICES? YOU'VE NEVER MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT HEARING FUCKING VOICES GAMZEE! I TAKE IT YOU DRINK TO SILENCE THEM THEN?"

"YeAh, AnD It uSuAlLy wOrKs bUt lAtElY ThEy'vE BeEn gEtTiNg lOuDeR AnD LoUdEr aNd i mOtHeRfUcKiNg cAn't mAkE ThEm sToP KaRbRo!"

I could feel my heart rate picking up, "OH MY FUCK GAMZEE YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME. I THINK IT'S FROM ALL THE SUPPRESSED GRIEF OF YOURS. IT'S SURFACING BACK UP AND TELLING YOU TO KILL HER."

"I ThInK YoU'Re rIgHt mOtHeRfUcKeR, i'vE BeEn wAiTiNg fOr a mOtHeRfUcKiNg mIrAcLe tO CoMe aNd tAkE ThEsE VoIcEs aWaY BuT NoThInG Is wOrKiNg. Do yOu hAvE AnY IdEaS BrO?"

I hesitated and tried to think, "DO YOU THINK THAT ACTIVELY DEALING WITH YOUR GRIEF INSTEAD OF BURYING IT WITH ALCOHOL WOULD DO THE TRICK?"

It took him a little bit to reply, "MaYbE, tHaNkS KaRbRo. I'M GoNnA LeT YoU GeT A LiTtLe mOrE SlEeP TiLl wE GoTtA GeT Up fOr sChOoL. tAlK To yOu lAtEr mOtHeRfUcKeR!"

I second I put the phone down I was out cold


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Later on that day, more like a few fucking hours, I was walking up to the school building and Gamzee ran straight over to me. He had a desperate look in his eyes and he was holding his arms like he might fall apart if he let go.

"STILL NO FAYGO?" I asked.

"No, I'M CoMpLeTeLy mOtHeRfUcKiNg bRoKe sO I CaN'T JuSt gO BuY SoMe, AnD ThEsE MoThErFuCkInG VoIcEs wOn't gO AwAy... I HaVeN'T BeEn tHiS ScArEd iN OvEr a yEaR KaRbRo... I MaDe a pRoMiSe tO MySeLf tHaT I WoUlDn't kIlL AnYoNe, I CaN'T BrEaK ThAt bRo." the taller man was shaking, he was so scared it was showing. Gamzee never got scared, he got angry.

"OKAY, I'VE GOT A FEW DOLLARS THING WE COULD WALK DOWN TO YOUR HOUSE AND THE GAS STATION BEFORE THIRD PERIOD? I GOT A HUGE TEST THIRD PEOPLE BUT I CAN SKIP THE FIRST TWO."

Gamzee smiled slightly, "YeAh kArBrO, i tHiNk wE CaN MaKe iT. tHaNk yOu bRo, YoU'Re a mOtHeRfUcKiNg lIfE SaVeR."

I nodded and we started walking back toward his house. We lived about 5 blocks apart, but his house was closer. My parents kept plenty of alcohol stashed in the house, but I didn't drink it. Had my house been closer, I would have risked my neck so he could have some.

He didn't like the stuff straight apparently. He always mixed it with his Faygo.

Wait, why would I risk my neck for this fuckass? Yeah he was my best friend but would I really risk my parents wrath for him? I would, but why?

Gamzee's hand waved in front of my face. I had zoned out. Shit!

"YoU OkAy tHeRe kArBrO?" I looked over at him and he looked a bit concerned.

"I'M FINE, JUST ZONED OUT A BIT. SLEPT FOR SHIT LAST NIGHT," that wasn't COMPLETELY a lie….

"OkAy kArBrO, iF YoU SaY So," he smiled slightly.

I nodded and he continued talking about school and how he wasn't sure if he was going to make it through the day without a bottle or two of Faygo.

We got to the nearest gas station and we grabbed bunch of Faygo. When I said I had a few dollars, I meant I had about $20. I was saving it for lunch money, but I think my best friend's sanity was more important.

There I go again, what's with the self sacrificing shit here? I wouldn't do this for Terezi or Nepeta, and they're completely into me. I was never really into them back.

I think I knew why I was doing this stuff for Gamzee, but I wasn't about to admit it to myself.

Gamzee waved his hand in front of my face again, "MaN BrO, yOu rEaLlY NeEd tO GeT MoRe sLeEp. WhAt kEpT YoU Up aLl nIgHt?"

I froze where I was walking. Did I tell him about the nightmares I've been having?

Gamzee stopped walking and faced me, "KaRbRo?"

"I-I-I'VE BEEN HAVING N-N-NIGHTMARES THAT'S ALL, NOTHING MAJOR," I stammered.

Gamzee dug around in his pocket and pulled out a bottle of melatonin. Non-prescription sleeping pills, "HeRe, ThIs sHiT HeLpS Me sLeEp mAyBe iT'Ll hElP YoU SlEeP KaRbRo. KuRlOz sUgGeStEd tHeM To mE AfTeR I WaS HaViNg nIgHtMaReS LaSt yEaR, eVeN ThOuGh i hAd mAdE PeAcE WiTh iT. dOeSn't sToP ThE WaKiNg fLaShBaCkS ThOuGh."

I nodded and took the bottle from him, "THANKS GAMZEE, I'VE BEEN HAVING REALLY BAD NIGHTMARES LATELY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S CAUSING THEM."

"I'M GuEsSiNg iT HaS To dO WiTh tAvRoS," he swallowed after he said his name. He almost never spoke his name allowed, it hurt him too much. "AnD YoU NeVeR ReAlLy dEaLt wItH HiS DeAtH, yOu wErE ToO BuSy tRyInG To hElP Me. I ThInK It's sUpPrEsSeD GrIeF, mAyBe wE BoTh cAn hElP EaCh oThEr oUt rIgHt kArBrO?"

I nodded slowly. He was right, I never dealt with the death of a lifelong friend, a lifelong neighbor. He was my best friend too, and I found his dead body in the arms of another best friend.

My eyes watered. Fuck, I was not going to do this here. I stared at the ground blinking furiously trying to get the tears to go away. I didn't allow myself to cry this entire time, and there was no way I was gonna break that streak.

"Oh cOmE HeRe mY BrOtHeR…" he walked the few feet difference and wrapped his arms around me. I hugged him back and lost it. I sobbed into his chest for what felt like hours. He rubbed my back with one hand and had the other tangled in my hair. Despite the gaping hole in my chest from the death of my friend last year, I felt very at peace. Wait, that doesn't make sense. How could I be in so much pain, but have a sense of peace? What?

I clung to him and sobbed. Images flashed in my head of Tavros and I as kids at the park. Us hanging out at his house or my house as kids. Us going to middle school on the first day and me having to beat someone up for picking on him. Us meeting Gamzee in 8th grade. The three of us were inseparable, but now it's just me and Gamzee.

"LeT It oUt mY BrOtHeR, iT'Ll hElP. lEt iT OuT" he said to me as I sobbed.

It felt like hours, but slowly I stopped crying. I clung to the taller man for awhile longer. The gaping hole in my chest didn't hurt nearly as much, and that sense of peace grew a bit.

"THANKS GAMZEE, I REALLY NEEDED THAT," I said into his chest.

He ruffled my hair, "AnYtImE My bRoThEr. LeT'S HeAd bAcK To mY HoUsE OkAy?"

I nodded and he let go of me. That sense of peace diminished, but it was still there.

Oh, so that's where the peace came from. Gamzee.

We had been just down the street from his house so it took only about 5 minutes to walk there.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

We walked into his house, which was completely empty, and Gamzee headed straight for the basement. I followed him down and to his parents liquor cabinet. I was surprised that his parents didn't even notice that their liquor supply was dwindling.

Gamzee opened the first bottle of Faygo and downed a fourth of it. He grabbed a bottle of clear liquid and started to pour it into the bottle of Faygo. I looked at the label, moonshine. The legal kind.

I stood there awkwardly as he mixed up the moonshine and Faygo before moving on to the next bottle. As he mixed the next bottle he started drinking the first one. The panicked look on his face that had reappeared as we walked the last stretch to his house started to go away.

After he finished mixing all the bottles I helped him carry some upstairs to his fridge and put them in the fridge. We had bought six bottles of the stuff.

Gamzee stuffed two bottles in his bag and finished off the first bottle.

"MoThErFuCk i fEeL BeTtEr kArBrO. tHaNk yOu bRoThEr." He hugged me again.

I hugged him back, and we walked back to school.

~====3====~

After school I met up with Gamzee by where the buses pulled up. He was swaying a little where he stood and was completely zoned out. I waved my hand in front of him, "HEY FUCKASS! EARTH TO GAMZEE!"

He jumped and shook his head to clear it, "HeY ThErE MoThErFuCkEr, SoRrY BoUt tHaT I ZoNeD OuT A BiT ThErE."

"I NOTICED. READY TO GO?"

He nodded and we started walking to my house. When we got there we found Rufioh sitting on the porch of his house with his head in his hands.

"HEY RUFIOH? WHAT'S WRONG?" I ran up and tipped my head to try to see his face.

He looked up, "Yo Karkat, 1 think 1 will be f1ne. 1 was just th1nk1ng about my brother and 1 hope he's happy where he 1s..."

Gamzee came up behind me and when he heard Rufioh he twitched. I nodded, "I'M SURE HE IS RUFIOH, I'M SURE HE'S DOING GREAT. FUCK I MISS HIM."

Rufioh nodded, "Me too..."

Gamzee twitched again.

"HEY WE'RE GONNA GO INSIDE, IF YOU NEED ANYTHING JUST COME ON OVER."

Rufioh nodded and Gamzee and I went into my house.

The second I shut my bedroom door Gamzee fell to his knees and held his head in his hands. The shaking of his shoulders told me he was crying. This wasn't the first breakdown of his I've seen.

I walked over, kneeled by him, and wrapped my arms around him. Gamzee turned and buried his face in my shoulder. He sobbed for what felt like hours. I rubbed his back trying to soothe him, but it didn't help.

Eventually he looked up at me and choked out, "ThAnK YoU KaRbRo fOr tHiS, i jUsT ReAlLy mIsS HiM AnD I StIlL SoMeTiMeS WaKe uP AnD ChEcK My pHoNe hOpInG I HaVe a mEsSaGe fRoM HiM, bUt tHeN I ReMeMbEr. I KnOw hE'S HaPpY WhErE He iS, bUt tHaT DoEsN'T MaKe mE FeEl aNy bEtTeR AnYmOrE,"

I hugged him tightly, "I KNOW GAMZEE, I KNOW.:

He wrapped his arms around me and hugged back, burying his face in my shoulder again. He had stopped crying but I held him anyway. He needed it.

He clung to me and I clung to him. He was my best friend and I was his.

I slowly buried my face in his hair as my eyes started watering, and in seconds I was crying. Gamzee held on tighter and started crying again too.

We sat there crying on each other for what felt like forever. At some point I lifted my head and stared at the ceiling with tears streaming down my face.

Gamzee then lifted his head and his hand and gently pulled my head down till I could look him straight into his deep purple eyes.

"I BeT He wOuLdN'T WaNt tO SeE Us cRyInG LiKe tHiS, aNd i'm sUrE He'd wAnT Us tO Be hApPy rIgHt? ThAt mOtHeRfUcKeR LoVeD To mAkE Us hApPy." His face was centimeters from mine.

"YEAH, HE DID," I said, trying to avoid my face from getting red. Didn't work.

"WeLl, I ThInK I KnOw a wAy fOr uS BoTh tO TrY AnD Be hApPy, In hIs mEmOrY," his nose was touching mine now.

"UM, HOW?" My face was really red now.

"He'd wAnT Us tO Be hApPy, AnD I'M NoT BlInD KaRkAt, I KnOw hOw tO MaKe yOu hApPy," and that's when his lips met mine.

After the shock wore off I kissed him back. Oh my God. This was actually happening. I never thought this was gonna happen. Not after Tavros.

He tangled his hand in my hair and used his arm to pull me against him. He fell back onto his back and pulled me down with him. There we were, making out on my bedroom floor.

All I could think about was how happy I was, how much I hoped that Kankri wouldn't come in here and yell something about being triggered, and that I had this nagging sense of wonder if he was doing this to make me happy, to make him happy, or to bury the sadness of losing Tavros.

He noticed my hesitation and broke off, still holding my head against his, "It's oKaY KaRkAt, I CaMe tO ThIs dEcIsIoN EaRlIeR WhEn i wAs hOlDiNg yOu. I KnOw tAvRoS WoUlD WaNt mE To mOvE On aNd bE HaPpY, aNd yOu mAkE Me hApPy kArKaT, i dIdN'T ReAlIzE It tIlL ToDaY."

I smiled and my face started to return to it's normal color, "OKAY GAMZEE, I WAS JUST A LITTLE WORRIED THERE FOR A MOMENT."

He nodded and kissed me again, only this time rougher. I felt my face get red again as he tugged at my hair a bit.

I felt a rush of self consciousness, I've never kissed anyone before. What if I wasn't that good… Wow this self conscious thing sucks, enough of that. If I wasn't any good at it, he wouldn't be doing this.

He was rubbing my back again, only this time he had slipped his hand in my shirt with his hand that wasn't tugging at my hair.

He moved his head to kiss my neck and to bite it gently. My face was so red at this point, I probably looked like a crab.

He pulled on my hair to tip my head back and he trailed kisses from my collarbones to my face and then kissed my lips.

"YoU WaNnA Do tHiS KaRkAt?" he said quietly, his lips moving against mine.

I nodded and kissed him, hard, and everything went by much too fast, and next thing I know we were curled up with each other on my bed, sleeping the day away.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I woke up to find Kankri standing over my bed, his face whiter than I've ever seen it.

"Um, Karkat what is g9ing 9n here? I c9me in t9 see if y9u were h9me 6ut I c9me in t9 find y9u c9mpletely…" he gestured to me and Gamzee, who was still sleeping. "9h my g9d I'm s9 triggered right n9w!"

I sighed irritably, but my face was so red it probably matched my brother's red sweater, "GO AWAY KANKRI AND I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU TELL OUR PARENTS I'M GONNA BEAT YOU BLACK AND BLUE."

Kankri put his hands on his head and walked out of the room. I looked over at the clock, it was 10 at night. Oh fuck, Gamzee's parents were going to kill him.

I shook him gently, and his eyes lazily opened, "HeY ThErE KaRkAt, WhAt tImE Is iT? iT'S MoThErFuCkInG DaRk iN HeRe."

"IT'S 10 AT NIGHT GAMZEE! FUCKING FUCK YOU'RE PARENTS ARE GONNA KILL YOU."

His eyes widened a little and then returned to normal, "Oh wElL FuCk iT, i'lL JuSt tExT ThEm aNd tElL ThEm i'm oVeR HeRe."

I sighed, hugged him, and buried my face in his chest, "WE REALLY SHOULD GET DRESSED MY BROTHER WAS JUST IN HERE FREAKING OUT."

"ArE YoUr pArEnTs gOnNa bE HoMe tOnIgHt?"

"NO, THEY LEFT ON SOME BUSINESS TRIP THIS MORNING."

"ThEn wE HaVe nOtHiNg tO WoRrY AbOuT KaRkAt"

I sighed and buried my face in his neck. He shivered a bit from me breathing and rolled onto his side to hold onto me.

I slept without nightmares that night.

~====3====~

We woke up to the angry buzzing of Gamzee's phone in his pants that were on the other side of the room.

Gamzee groaned and let go of me to get his phone. He swore a few times under his breath and answered the phone.

"YeAh?"

"I'M At kArKaT'S."

"I'M FiNe."

"I'Ll bE HoMe aFtEr sChOoL OkAy?"

"YeS I'Ll tElL KuRlOz iF I Go aNyWhErE AgAiN."

"YeAh"

"ByE"

He hung up and groaned, "ThEy'rE NoT MoThErFuCkInG HaPpY WiTh mE, bUt i'm nOt iN TrOuBlE Or aNyThInG."

I nodded, got up, and got dressed. Gamzee pulled his clothes on and then walked over and hugged me before I could walk out the door. He kissed my head, "DoN'T... dOn't mOtHeRfUcKiNg lEaVe mE LiKe tAvRoS DiD."

I nodded, "NEVER, I COULD NEVER DO THAT TO YOU."

He smiled sadly and kissed me with all the sadness in the world.

I had just wrapped my arms around his shoulders when Kankri opened the door and covered his eyes, "Trigger! Will y9u tw9 st9p?"

"STOP BEING SO SENSITIVE KANKRI DAMN," I said irritably.

He shook his head, "9ur parents are g9nna kill y9u."

"I TOLD YOU DON'T YOU DARE TELL THEM. YOU KNOW HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT THIS KIND OF SHIT."

"I kn9w I kn9w I'm n9t g9ing t9 tell them calm down. 6ut if y9ur r99m still smells like this when they get h9me t9night y9ur s9 screwed."

I groaned and let go of Gamzee, "IT'LL BE FINE OKAY?"

Kankri shrugged and walked out of the room.

Gamzee was staring at the floor, "WeLl, It's fRiDaY... tHiNk wE CoUlD SkIp sChOoL AnD Go vIsIt tAvRoS' gRaVe?"

I nodded, "LET'S GO, IT'S GONNA BE ONE HELL OF A WALK."

We gathered up our school stuff and left. An hour of walking in silence later, we got to the graveyard.

We walked over to Tavros' grave and stood there silently. I stared at the gravestone and next thing I know I was crying yet again.

I heard a thud and I turned to see Gamzee on his knees sobbing into his hands. I kneeled by him and hugged him, crying into his shoulder.

We had stopped and gotten some flowers to leave at his grave, and I gently took the rose from Gamzee's hands and laid it in front of the gravestone along with the flower that I picked out for him, one that I didn't know the name of. The florist told me it represented friendship.

Gamzee reached over and put his hand on the gravestone, "HeY ThErE TaVrOs, It's bEeN A MoThErFuCkInG YeAr sInCe yOu lEfT Us. KaRkAt aNd i hAvE BeEn rEaLlY MiSsInG YoU. i kNoW YoU CaN SeE Us aNd i hOpE YoU'Re nOt mAd aT Us. I KnOw yOu wAnT Us tO Be hApPy, So sEeInG Us cRy sO MuCh lAtElY MuSt mOtHeRfUcKiNg sUcK. i hOpE YoU'Re nOt mAd fOr oBvIoUs rEaSoNs tOo. I MaDe pEaCe wItH YoUr dEaTh, BuT ThAt dOeSn't mEaN ThAt i dOn't mIsS YoU. wE'Re gOnNa bE ThE HaPpIeSt mOtHeRfUcKeRs iN ThE WoRlD In yOuR MeMoRy oKaY? mOtHeRfUcK I MiSs yOu. I HoPe yOu'rE At pEaCe wItH WhErE YoU ArE, i lOvE YoU. sEe yOu sOoN."

He choked out each word, occasionally having to stop just to sob. Hearing the pain in his voice hurt like hell. I cried into his shoulder until he finished, and then it was my turn to say a few words.

"HEY THERE TAVROS, FUCK I MISS YOU. WE BOTH DO. EVERYONE DOES. I'M SURE YOU'RE GONNA GET A LOT OF VISITORS TODAY, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE WE WERE THE FIRST ONES TO COME SEE YOU. I REALLY HOPE THAT YOU AREN'T MAD AT US, I REALLY DON'T. YOU NEVER GOT MAD AT ANYONE REALLY, EXCEPT FOR MAYBE YOUR BROTHER SOMETIMES, BUT FUCK MAN I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE MAD. I MISS YOU A LOT, FUCK I WISH YOU WERE STILL WITH US. I WANTED NOTHING MORE THAN TO SEE YOU TWO HAPPY, YOU BOTH DESERVE IT. I'M SURE WE'LL SEE YOU SOON BEST FRIEND, I'LL COME SEE YOU SOON." I spoke quietly, with tears running down my face.

We stayed there for awhile before heading back to my house, tears still running down our faces.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

We sat in my room for awhile with me holding Gamzee and letting him cry. I had suppressed my sadness on the walk home. I have to be strong for Gamzee…

We had quickly ran to Gamzee's on the way home to grab him some Faygo, which he already downed on the walk over here, and now he was sitting in a drunken state sobbing into my shoulder.

I rubbed circles into his back with one hand and hand my other tangled in his hair. We missed him so much…

I buried my face in Gamzee's shoulder and next thing I knew, I felt a hand on the shoulder that Gamzee wasn't crying into.

I lifted my head abruptly and turned to see a semi see through Tavros wearing all blue with blue fairy wings.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out but a quiet squeak. Gamzee lifted his head and I could hear the smile in his voice when he said, "TaVrOs!"

Tavros smiled and hugged the two of us at the same time, "hEY GUYS, iT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU GUYS AGAIN,"

I opened my mouth again to try and speak, but still no words came out.

Gamzee turned my head so I was facing him, "ReMeMbEr wHeN I MaDe pEaCe wItH TaVrOs' DeAtH? iT WaS JuSt aFtEr hE HaD CaMe tO ViSiT Me. ThIs iS ThE SeCoNd tImE He's cOmE SeE Me," he looked up at Tavros. "It's mOtHeRfUcKiNg mIrAcUlOuS To sEe yOu aGaIn tAvRoS!"

Tavros smiled and I turned back to look at Tavros, "OH MY GOD. WE'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH FUCK IT'S BEYOND FUCKING AWESOME TO SEE YOU AGAIN TAVROS!"

I let go of Gamzee and hugged my best friend as tight as I could.

Tavros was smiling when I let him go, "i'M ALWAYS WATCHING OVER YOU GUYS SO I SEE YOU ALL THE TIME, bUT I MISS BEING ABLE TO HANG OUT AND TALK TO YOU GUYS THOUGH, i'M SO GLAD THAT YOU TWO HAVE FOUND EACH OTHER SO NO I'M NOT MAD, i'VE, uH, bEEN HOPING THAT'D HAPPEN FOR AWHILE NOW ACTUALLY,"

I stared at him for a moment, "YOU'RE NOT MAD? OH THANK JEGUS."

Gamzee smiled widely, "I'M MoThErFuCkInG GlAd yOu'rE NoT MaD TaVrOs!"

Tavros smiled at us both, "i HOPE EVERYTHING BETWEEN YOU TWO GO GREAT, i'M SURE THAT YOU TWO WILL BE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER. i MISS YOU TWO SO MUCH, bUT I MUST GO SOON,,,"

My heart sank, "OH NO YOU CAN'T GO SO SOON…"

He smiled sadly, "i'M SORRY KARKAT, bUT I CAN NEVER STAY IN THIS WORLD FOR LONG,"

My eyes watered again, "OKAY TAVROS, IT WAS FUCKING GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN, AND I CAN'T WAIT TILL WE ALL CAN HANG OUT AND TALK AGAIN. "

Gamzee crawled across the bed and hugged Tavros, "It wAs mOtHeRfUcKiNg gReAt tO SeE YoU, aNd yOu aRe aLwAyS WeLcOmE To cOmE ViSiT Us wHeN YoU CaN."

Tavros nodded and hugged him back, "i DON'T KNOW IF I'LL BE ABLE TO VISIT AGAIN, bUT IF I CAN I'LL TRY TO COME VISIT YOU BOTH AT THE SAME TIME, i MISS YOU GUYS, gOODBYE,"

He stood up and phased through the wall. Looking out the window, we saw him fly off into the setting sun.

~====3====~

A/N: sorry this one is so short! I'm hoping to write a John/Dave fic next! Hope you guys liked it!


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